I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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