What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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