I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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