The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
As shirtless as possible
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
