Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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