At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
