hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
