1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This girl is more easily done than said...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
