i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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