I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize