The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
