Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
