Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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