it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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