i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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