evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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