Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
