week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
