i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
