New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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