yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
