Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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