Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
