Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize