It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
