Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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