Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize