omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We just shotgunned beers for America
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
