That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
