What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And then my night got REAL pukey
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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