I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
