It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
