Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
