once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
