hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
