is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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