You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wish my penis had a tongue
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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