I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
