been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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