I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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