I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize