Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
