Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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