well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
