I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
