great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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