sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
