living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
