how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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