Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
