Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize