just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
