Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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