he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sext me about skeletons
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize