Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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