Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
