so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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