things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
