I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
