Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
