I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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