just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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