In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i have two assholes
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
