I'm gonna have a badass scar
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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